A Thousand Stars
by TheShunnedPrince
Summary: ""Why give your crush flowers when you can give them a fucking cold," Poe mumbled, wrapping his free arm around himself against the cold. He was nowhere near the ground but he was somehow exhausted and dizzy and shivering and all around miserable." Or the one where Poe is sick and Finn just wants him to take care of himself.


Poe stared up at the stars from the open cockpit of Black One and let himself feel slightly guilty for about five seconds. He should have seen this coming. He _did_ see it coming; felt it for the last few days but chose to blatantly ignore it. And now it was here in all of its glory, keeping him awake and lying restlessly in the cockpit of his X Wing in the hanger on D'Qar instead of sleeping comfortably in his bed.

He was sick.

Not _dying_ sick, but...sick. Fever probably. It had started with a sniffle. A sneeze a few days ago that caused Finn to jump and knock over the tray of food the two of them had been sharing. Looking back on the memory, Poe wasn't really sure _why_ they had been sharing food, only that Finn's appetite had all but disappeared after his physical therapy and Poe was...well he had been sick. Still was sick.

Sharing food with Finn had probably been a bad idea, but with Rey chasing Skywalker, Poe didn't want Finn sitting alone in the mess hall. Poe rubbed his eyes as he thought about how Finn already had Poe's jacket and sharing food with the guy probably only made everything more obvious. Because it wasn't like they were _dating_ , except Poe just happened to go about their relationship like it was something romantic anyway. He knew he should probably stop because there was no guarantee of anything going to the next level but Poe couldn't really bring himself to let go because Finn was...well, he was _Finn_. He was strong and steady and rebellious and liked to steal people's jackets and give people hugs and never really sent any signals that he _didn't_ want a romantic relationship with Poe, and his eyes were soft enough to swallow Poe completely and his smile just happened to be the highlight of Poe's day and _kriff_ , Poe wanted to kiss him so bad it hurt.

Although Poe probably shouldn't be kissing anyone, at least not right now. He sighed and folded his legs beneath him, trying desperately to find a position in which his whole body didn't radiate with pain. His head was throbbing slowly and he resisted the urge to bang it repeatedly against one of his windows for fear that it would damage Black One's new paint job. He was a weak, shivering, exhausted mess but for some reason, sleep continued to elude him.

It wasn't that he was a stranger to insomnia. After Kylo Ren, Poe ultimately decided that painfully keeping himself awake and yawning through morning briefings was better than the nightmares. He had to keep going, had to stay distracted and sleep was the opposite of those two things. He supposed it was about time his less than healthy lifestyle caught up to him. He fidgeted relentlessly for a good few minutes before settling down in a huff and glanced at his watch. 3 a.m.

"Fuck," he muttered and began the slow process of untangling his body and climbing out of his plane. He was at the top of the ladder, dangling above the tarmac from Black One and thinking about the french fries he had shared with Finn when it hit him: the fucking french fries. He'd sneezed all over the damn french fries, the same ones that Finn ate. Which meant…

"Why give your crush flowers when you can give them a fucking cold," Poe mumbled, wrapping his free arm around himself against the cold. He was nowhere near the ground but he was somehow exhausted and dizzy and shivering and all around miserable. His eyes began to close and he reluctantly let them, enjoying the release from the faint buzzing inside his skull.

Then BB-8 beeped at him and Poe almost lost his grip on the ladder.

" _Kriff!_ When did you get here?" he asked the droid, who continued to send a cavalry of inquisitive beeps his way.

"No, I'm not cold," Poe said and BB-8 wasted no time in responding.

"Yes, I _know_ it's warm outside," Poe lied, jumping down onto the concrete and kneeling in front of BB-8.

"I am _not_ shivering," he protested, but he droid just sent an assault of annoyed noises his way and then rolled away toward Poe's bunk, correctly expecting Poe to follow. Poe set off behind BB-8, listening to the droid chatter and beep excitedly about random topics.

"Remind me to to tell Finn about the french fries," Poe told BB-8. He was half asleep and stumbling at that point but he knew he had to warn Finn before whatever virus Poe had began to spread. BB-8 seemed to stare at Poe for a few seconds before chirping softly and then nudging Poe's leg insistently toward his room door.

"Good night, buddy," Poe whispered, smiling softly. BB-8 beeped at him loudly and then rolled down the hallway, leaving Poe alone in his room. Poe sighed and decided that he was too tired to change into more comfortable clothes. He ended up collapsing into his bed fully clothed and on top of the covers and was instantly asleep.

"Poe," someone was saying. "Poe?"

Poe groaned and stuffed his face further into his pillow. His whole body ached and dammit, he was _cold_ again.

"Poe, wake up."

His eyes snapped open and he jolted awake as he was painfully thrust back into reality. He couldn't really believe it, but he actually felt _worse_ than he had last night. His room was suddenly uncomfortably warm and there was sunlight pushing through the drapes covering his window. Despite the increased temperature, Poe was still trembling with enough force to be painful.

And Finn was sitting on his bed, looking so comfortable that Poe almost saw nothing wrong with him being there. And then it hit him.

Finn was on his bed.

Wearing Poe's jacket.

In Poe's room.

Finn was in Poe's room with Poe and all of his sick germs and the last thing Finn needed after being in a coma for _weeks_ was a fucking cold, which he probably already had from the goddamn french fries and-

BB-8 chirped loudly, rescuing Poe from his spiraling thoughts.

"Hey buddy," Poe said, forcing himself to smile. "What are you doing here?" At this point he wasn't really sure if he was talking to Finn or BB-8 but it was the droid that beat Finn to a response, sending out a series of rapid, exasperated beeps that Poe could just barely follow in his current state of mind.

"What's he saying?" Finn asked and Poe jumped at the sound of his voice. "He tracked me down in the mess hall and dragged me to your room," Finn said, looking slightly guilty but nowhere near uncomfortable or awkward. Poe just gaped at him silently, resisting the urge to bury himself beneath the covers and forget any of this was happening.

"Poe?" Finn said, his forehead wrinkling, "Are you okay? You look a little...pale."

"Oh, I'm fine don't worry about it," Poe said, and then turned to BB-8. "When I told you to remind me to tell him, I didn't mean drag him to my room _first thing in the morning_."

BB-8 let out a few offended beeps but Poe tuned it out because he was suddenly hit with the urge _not_ to tell Finn about the french fries. He couldn't really remember why he'd thought the french fries were such a big deal. After all, Finn looked perfectly fine except for the fact that he was now frowning and studying Poe with a concerned expression.

"Poe, it's afternoon," Finn said.

"No it's not," Poe scoffed, but when he glanced at his clock he saw it said 13:10. "What the hell," he muttered, running a hand through his hair.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Finn asked again, and _dammit_ , Finn's eyes were so pleading and honest that Poe probably would have told him everything if he hadn't dissolved into a fit of coughing.

It felt like his lungs were being ripped to shreds but Poe couldn't seem to stop. He vaguely registered Finn standing up and walking away, only to return a few moments later. And then a glass of water was being gently pushed into Poe's shaking hands and there was a hand around his shoulders steadying him.

"Drink," Finn said, helping Poe raise the glass to his mouth. Poe gratefully sipped from the glass as the coughing subsided and found himself leaning against Finn, his eyes closed and entire body shaking. They sat like that for a few moments, Finn's arm around Poe and Poe sagging against Finn before Poe realized what he was doing. He jumped away from Finn like he had been shocked, almost spilling water all over his sheets.

"S-sorry," Poe stammered, standing up. The sudden movement sent his world spinning and the ground rippling under him but he ignored it because he had to get away from Finn before he infected him or kissed him or did anything incredibly stupid.

"Poe," Finn started but Poe interrupted him before he could finish.

"The General has to see me," Poe blurted out. It was such an obvious lie but it was the only one he could possibly think of.

"Right now?" Finn asked, looking perplexed.

"Yup," Poe said, trying his best to look confident and official. He was the best pilot in the Resistance, dammit. He was better than a fucking cold. Or fever. Or whatever this was. "I'm gonna get dressed," Poe continued, hoping that Finn would get the message and leave him alone.

"Oh, of course," Finn said and made toward the door.

"Oh, take BB-8 with you."

BB-8 squawked indignantly and sent a series of rapid beeps Poe's way.

"Sorry buddy," Poe whispered, though he was still a little miffed that BB-8's way of reminding him to tell Finn about the french fries was to bring Finn into his room while he was sleeping. Poe watched wearily as BB-8 and Finn left, Finn shooting a worried look over his shoulder which Poe responded to with a hasty smile.

Once he was alone, Poe collapsed back on the bed, rubbing his eyes. He glanced at the clock again before deciding that maybe he should _actually_ go see General Organa.

Twenty minutes later Poe was pacing the General's office with her watching him with an amused expression.

"C'mon, General, there has to be _something_ I can do," Poe was saying. "Give me a recon mission or surveillance work. Hell, send me to Endor to get those weird cakes you like from the Ewoks. Just give me _something?_ "

Leia shook her head and glanced at Poe briefly before going back to shuffling papers on her desk. "What's this really about, Dameron?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" Poe sputtered, "I just...want something to do."

"If something comes up, you'll be the first person I'll notify," Leia said distractedly.

"Really?"

"No, probably not."

Poe sighed and threw himself into one of the two chairs across from her desk. His legs were trembling and his descent into the rough cushion was more of an ungraceful collapse that sent black spots spiralling into his vision. He hurriedly blinked them away, which must have taken longer than he thought because once his vision had cleared, he realized that the General was kneeling in front of his chair, studying him with a concerned look.

"You're sick, Dameron," was all she said.

Poe could think of several ways to respond to that but all he said was, "With all due respect, General, I'm not leaving your office until you give me something to do."

Leia said nothing and continued to study him. Poe resisted the urge to fidget under her scrutiny but managed to sit still.

"There's no better way to phrase this, Dameron," she said finally, "So I'm just going to come out and say that you look like a walking bantha corpse. The only job I'd give you right now is to go to your bunk, or even med bay and take some _rest_."

Poe gaped soundlessly at her for a few seconds before plastering a smirk on his face and saying, "I'm think I'm going to respectfully decline that request and dismiss myself now."

"It wasn't a request," Leia called, but Poe was already out the door.

He walked past the mess hall and X Wing hangar in a daze. Jess and Snap called to him excitedly but Poe only waved back at them lethargically instead of joining them. He didn't really know where he was going, only that he suddenly felt incredibly weak and maybe, just _maybe_ he would take Leia's advice and nap a little before he collapsed onto the floor in a useless pile of skin and bones.

He was in his hallway, almost to his room when he spotted Finn.

Finn had his back turned to Poe and was far away enough that Poe had to squint in order to make sure that the person he was looking at actually _was_ Finn. Poe stared at Finn's back for a few seconds before he was hit with an irrational and intense desire to tell Finn about the french fries. Maybe if he told Finn, Finn could get ahead of whatever virus Poe was carrying and not end up in med bay.

Poe almost realized how delirious his thoughts were and he would have pushed them out of his mind had he actually voiced them out loud. But they sounded completely reasonable inside his head so he took off running toward Finn.

His legs were shaking and his breaths were shuddering as he pushed his body closer to its breaking point. But Poe had to tell Finn. There was no other choice.

"Finn!" he called, breathless and panting. He was on the verge of collapse but he had to keep going. Finn turned around just as he was rounding the corner of the hallway and smiled at the sight of Poe.

"Poe!" he said, happily.

Poe blushed a little at the friendliness but refused to stop in his tracks. "Finn, I have to tell you-"

One second he was running but a moment later he was flat on his back, his entire body screaming in pain. It took him a second before he was able to breath again and when he could, a sharp bolt of pain ran through his skull.

"Poe! Are you okay?"

Finn was leaning over him, his face scrunched in open worry and slight panic. But that didn't make sense because only seconds ago, Finn had been in front of Poe. Poe had been running toward him so why was Poe on the floor?

He tried to sit up but was hit with a wave of dizziness and nausea. His head would have fallen back to the floor if Finn hadn't caught it and propped it up in his lap. The world swum in and out of focus and Poe vaguely realized he was staring straight at a wall. He had...bumped into a wall?

That seemed like the most obvious conclusion. He had been running at full speed and slammed right into the wall in front of Finn. Poe groaned a little in embarrassment and ran a hand through his hair. His fingers came away red and sticky.

"I'm bleeding," he muttered, but the words were slurred and soft.

"Oh, _kriff_ ," Finn said. Poe looked up at him and realized that the way Finn's head was blocking the overhead light made it seemed like he had a halo. Poe reached a hand up to touch Finn's face and let his fingers rest on Finn's cheek. Finn looked surprised but made no attempted to remove Poe's hand.

"You're so pretty," Poe mumbled. Finn raised his eyebrows but before he could respond, Poe blissfully passed out.

He woke up feeling soft. His eyelids fluttered but for once he was in no hurry to wake up because he was warm and comfortable and _safe_. Someone was running a hand through his hair and for a second he thought it was his mother and he smiled before reality came crashing in, shattering his fantasy like Kylo Ren himself was tearing through his thoughts. The warm feeling in his chest evaporated and was replaced with the obnoxious beeping of machines and a dull pain pulsing through his body.

When Poe opened his eyes they were wet. The fingers in his hair retreated and he saw that it was Finn who was sitting in an uncomfortable chair next to his bed in med bay with a worried expression.

"Finn?" Poe choked out. His voice didn't sound like his own but he didn't have the energy to care.

"Hey," Finn said, smiling gently, "How are you feeling?"

"Not so great, buddy," Poe answered honestly. "What happened?"

Finn sighed and ran a hand through his short hair before responding. "Well, you have a concussion from running into a wall at full speed," he started and Poe winced more out of embarrassment than pain.

"Also," Finn continued, "You apparently had a 106 degree fever."

Finn's calm expression disappeared and was replaced with a frustrated fury that was enough to remind Poe that Finn wasn't all smiles and sunshine. He was an ex-stormtrooper who had the courage to face Kylo Ren in a lightsaber battle to save his friends.

"Why didn't you get help, Poe?" Finn asked. "You could have _died_! From a _fever_! A _kriffing_ fever!"

Poe resisted the urge to bury his face under the white sheets and turn invisible. "I felt fine," he whispered but the protest sounded weak even to his ears.

"Oh really?" Finn asked, "Because General Organa dropped by a few minutes ago and said you almost collapsed in her office!"

"That's a bit of an exaggeration," Poe muttered, but Finn was already shaking his head.

"What do you have against taking care of yourself, Poe?" Finn asked.

Poe's first instinct was to brush the question off and say something hilariously funny to distract Finn. But Finn was staring at him with those trusting eyes that seemed to hold entire galaxies inside of them and Poe felt his walls melt into pathetic puddles.

"I just thought that if I could keep going I could somehow prove _him_ wrong and keep him out of my head," Poe whispered and Finn froze. There was no question about who Poe was talking about. "He got inside my mind and he just...took _everything_ so fucking easily. It made me feel so fucking insignificant and I knew that if I stopped to think about it, about _any_ of it, that it might pull me down into a hole I wouldn't be able to escape from."

There was a long silence in which Poe was left feeling raw and exposed. He curled himself up into a tight ball and stared up at Finn's unreadable expression.

"I won't let you," Finn finally said.

"Won't let me what?"

"Fall," Finn said, before hastily elaborating. "I won't let it pull you down, Poe. You saved me from the First Order and now I'll do the same for you, okay?"

Poe didn't know how to respond to that so he just said, "Okay."

They settled into a slightly awkward silence in which Finn dozed and fidgeted in his chair and Poe tried his best not to stare at him. His eyes drifted around the room and he noticed that while he didn't feel completely amazing, he _was_ feeling considerably better than before, though that was probably because of the pain meds and drugs coursing through his system. Nevertheless, he was grateful and insanely relieved. He let his head roll aimlessly around on his pillow and eventually, several packaged, round objects on his bedside table caught this eye.

"What are those?" Poe asked. Finn opened his eyes and glanced to where Poe was pointing and smiled a little.

"General Organa dropped those off. I don't know what they are, but she also told me to tell you that she thinks you're a 'completely hopeless idiot'."

Poe rolled his eyes and grabbed one of the objects off the table. After inspecting it for a few seconds, he laughed. "It's an Endorian mooncake," he said.

"So?" Finn asked.

"Well, it's funny because technically, it's just a cake from Endor but since Endor _is_ a moon, that makes it a mooncake, get it?" Poe said, waiting for Finn to laugh.

"No," Finn said, but he took the cake from Poe's fingers, unwrapped it and took a bite.

"It's good!" Finn said excitedly, crumbs falling out of his mouth. Poe smiled and they once again lapsed into silence, though this time it was more friendly and comfortable.

Poe had almost fallen asleep before Finn spoke.

"What were you going to tell me?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" Poe slurred, completely thrown from the change of topic.

"Well, you were running toward me to tell me something before you crashed into that wall, right?"

Poe was lost for a few seconds before remembering. "Oh yeah! Fuck, I had to warn you about the french fries."

"The what?"

"The food we were sharing a few days ago. I was still sick back then and then I sneezed all over the fries so they were infected and I wanted to warn you before _you_ were infected, though it's probably too late now and I'm really sorry," Poe rambled, his cheeks heating up.

But oddly enough, Finn was smiling. "Poe, I'm probably immune to whatever virus you have."

"What?"

"The First Order gave all troopers vaccines for all diseases or viruses that they could think of. They didn't want their troops taking sick days or showing any form of weakness that could potentially spread through the ranks," Finn explained, his expression souring.

Poe forced himself to swallow his anger and disgust before speaking. "I'm so sorry, buddy. That's fucked up."

Finn nodded in agreement, but then he said, "But it's also convenient. You know why?"

"Why?" Poe asked, utterly confused by the smile lighting up Finn's face.

"Because it allows me to do _this_."

Before Poe could ask what Finn meant by that, Finn was kissing him.

Poe made a choked sound of surprise but was quick to kiss Finn back. Finn's lips were soft and Poe could feel Finn's hands cupping his cheek. Something in Poe's heart burst open in the most wonderful way and he was suddenly overwhelmed with the amount of happiness he was feeling.

When Finn pulled away, Poe's cheeks were streaked with tears but he was smiling. Finn smiled back and gently wiped the tears away with his thumb.

"Wow," Poe whispered.

"Yes," Finn agreed and they both laughed.

"Maybe I should get sick more often," Poe muttered.

"Don't you dare."

The minutes after that stretched on for hours. Poe could have continued kissing Finn forever but exhaustion had begun to set in. His eyes were drooping shut by the time Finn slowly pulled away and gently pushed Poe back into bed.

"You should get some rest," Finn whispered.

"Only if you stay with me," Poe responded, reaching for Finn's hand and lacing their fingers together.

"Okay," Finn said.

For a terrifying moment Poe thought that this all might be a dream. Maybe he was actually still unconscious and all of this had been some kind of sick fantasy his mind had conjured up. But then Finn began running his fingers through Poe's hair and every coherent or vaguely negative thought in Poe's mind went out the window.

Poe sighed and snuggled into the blankets, feeling obscenely at peace. He felt untouchable and invincible. No nightmares could ever touch him again, not with Finn sitting right next to him.

Poe was just beginning to nod off completely but at the last second, he held on to consciousness.

"Hey Finn?" he mumbled.

"Yes, Poe?"

Poe hesitated, but only for a second. "I think I love you," he said, the words soft but clear.

Finn laughed, a sound so gentle and deep that Poe felt it in his bones.

"I think I love you too," Finn said.

And Poe let himself drift away.


End file.
